It was the cold air that woke me up. The slightly chilled wind that passed me was what had me blinking my eyes to darkness. I was sure I slept with the bed lamp on, so I was beyond confused when I awoke to utter darkness. All that filled my sight was dark shapes that surrounded me. Still in a haze, I try to pull the duvet over my cold body, but realise my arms are tightly bound above my head. I pull a few times, hoping the knot would ease, but instead, it cut into my flesh, burning my skin as I pulled harder to free myself. My arms grew tight and heavy, but I continued to pull hoping to loosen my arms. I look around hoping for some sort of answer for where I was and what was happening to me, but all that accompanied me was darkness and silence. Breathing out a trembling shudder, I tried to move my feet. Not surprised that my ankles too were tied together and then against another object. But even with the assumption in my mind, I still found myself shaking in fear. Becoming more powerless as the seconds flew passed, my desire to break free became erratic. Simultaneously, I struggled to free both my ankles and wrists, but with the bounds only getting tighter with my fight to break loose, I was only making things worse.
Trying to calm the heart that crashed against my chest, I took a deep breath. The air blew against my skin, making me realise I wore nothing but the restraints that held me captive. Inhaling a large amount of air, I prepared to scream, but when the air moved passed my throat, a burning sensation arose. My throat was dry, causing my helpless scream, to become a pitiful whisper. Without the ability to free myself, losing the power to use my voice and the fact that I couldn’t see anything, all rational thoughts dissolved. I pulled, wiggled and rocked uncontrollably, trying to break something…anything. Yet, nothing but my muscles and bones ached, pleading with me to stop my attempts. The feeling was something I was familiar with. As I lay trembling in fear, all my body could do was remind me that this was not the first time I’ve experienced this. Even with my wrist tied together firmly, my fingers quivered as my nerves took control of my body. I was beginning to remember this scene. Images flashed in my mind, as my brain worked to remind me what was meant to come after the shock and realisation of being kidnapped. I shut my eyes, horrified knowing what was to come next.
With a click, dim lights filled my surroundings. My body reacting to the slight warmth the lights gave and my eyelids slightly becoming lighter with the help of the lights. For a few seconds nothing happened. There’s no movements, no breathing, nothing but the lights slowly brightening. The only noise apparent was my breathing that seemed to bounce around in the room I was in. With no action after the lights being turned on, my curiosity pushed me to slowly lift my eyelids. With images flashing in my mind as to what was to come when my eyes were opened. As my eyes fluttered open ever so slowly, a frame filled my face, causing me to feel suffocated. My breathing no longer bounced across the room, but was colliding with an intruding frame that had taken its place in front of me. My whole body shook, as I opened my eyes to witness the same dark glassy blue set of pupils that stared right back at me every night.
Immediately I sat up, holding my mouth from the scream that had burst through my lips. It was a nightmare…a nightmare I was too familiar with. With tears uncontrollably streaming down my cheeks, I clutch onto my chest, trying to steady my heart that was punching my chest. It was always those eyes I found myself screaming myself awake to. I feared to close my eyes even to blink, in case the eyes awaited me as my eyelids covered my eyes. I slid out of bed, still shuddering as I made my way to the kitchen. Making sure every light was turned on. Once I reached the kitchen, the cold wooden floor helped chill my sweaty body as I ran the tap to get a glass. I opened the draw above the sink and grabbed a glass cup, glad my hands were steady to hold the cup without it slipping through my grip. I ran it under the tap and then locked the tap. Bringing the cup to my parched lips, I drank the water, thankful the water managed to relax my tense muscles and ease me slightly. I rested against the sink and took a deep breath, remembering he’d been arrested and had been for six years. I am safe…if only I felt safe.
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